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Deck the Halls With Laughter: 10 Christmas Jokes for Every Occasion

Posted on July 26, 2025

Nothing brings people together during the holidays quite like shared laughter. These ten Christmas-themed jokes offer something for every gathering, from family dinners to office parties, guaranteed to spread cheer faster than Santa’s sleigh.

The Pearly Gates test kicks things off with heavenly humor – three men must present Christmas items to enter heaven. While candles and bells make sense, it’s the third man’s “Carol’s” underwear that delivers the perfect holiday pun. Then there’s the hungover husband who can’t remember his wild office party but wakes to a suspiciously perfect home – until his son reveals dad refused to let mom undress him while declaring his marital status.

Military humor shines through the soldier stuck peeling potatoes after asking for a “new sergeant” for Christmas. Religious readers will chuckle at the monk who spent years copying “celebrate” as “celibate,” while parents will appreciate the clever dad who fakes divorce plans just to get his kids home for the holidays.

Travelers can relate to the mistletoe mishap at airport baggage claim, while early shoppers will laugh at the man arrested for shopping “before the store opened.” The negotiation-savvy kid who tries to bargain with Jesus using a nativity Mary statue shows childhood creativity at its finest.

Travelers can relate to the mistletoe mishap at airport baggage claim, while early shoppers will laugh at the man arrested for shopping “before the store opened.” The negotiation-savvy kid who tries to bargain with Jesus using a nativity Mary statue shows childhood creativity at its finest.

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